Chapter Fifteen

Hello beautiful readers.

I'm really sorry for the delay, sorry if i made you wait or stay up to read, I'm sleepy myself and I'm trying so hard to type correctly. If there is any typing mistake tell me about it! 

And yeah one more thing, I really REALLY want to thank all of the readers for supporting me and for liking the story I'm writing :D 

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Now enjoy and please tell me what you think about it xoxo

I got in my mother's Audi. They were waiting for me.

"Wa akheeran," Dalal said without looking my way, her eyes were fixed on her blackberry.

"Chub knt bl7amam," I said as I closed the door.

My mother drove fast, she's a fearless driver. The drive was boring, mama Mariam drove silently, Dalal didn’t take her eyes away from her mobile and Mus3ab was punching in his iPad playing temple run.

I, as always forgot my mobile in my room. I'm glad how quiet the drive is I don’t really feel like listening to anybody, when my mother speaks I get annoyed, like I don't want to hear her voice or see her face. I know I shouldn't be feeling that way I started to hate her, she fed me up with lies how would I not hate her, she's the one who's driving me to the hating her path.

All I did during the way to Abu AlHasaney area was thinking, thinking about Faris, my mother and Jassim "my brother in law". I am sick of how I over think. The only thing I do id concerning about everything, and I'm tired of it.

I looked at my reflection in the driver's side mirror; I'm getting uglier day by day. I'm not having enough sleep nor eating healthy food. I started to have blackheads and dark circles all over my eyes and found three pimples on my check. I'm not talking care of myself the way I used to before the incident.

I'm not going to torture myself, not anymore. I will try to get the gun I used to have back, or half of it at least, the happy Rawa will be back very soon.

I'll face my problems with a smile, behind the suffer comes ajer.

And I will start to take the bad thoughts out of my mind starting from now.

"Mus3ab please can I barrow your iPad? I'm bored." I said.

"No, I'm playing and its mine you can't take it." He said without turning his face to look at me.

"wai3 maleeq w bakheel," I said "Khala9 ma7roum, I will take our little cousins to Hawalli park and I'm not going to take you with us."

"3ade Daloul will take me." He said stubbornly.

"Dalal yayba your iPod?," I asked ignoring Mus3ab's last line.

"Eeeh ka," She said handing it to me with the earphone "Bas tara fee shwayyat sha7n latkhaleena mba6al."

"Inshallah," I stuck the earbud in my ears and started to listen to music, I setted it on shuffle.

We finally arrived at upper crust pizzeria, had our four person table.

They still were doing the same routine, mobiles and iPads. The waitress took our orders. I left the table to go to the toilet, boredom kills.

Just when I entered the WC I saw a friend, an old best friend.

"Oh my god," I said loud enough to be heard.

"Rawa I miss you," she gave me a hug.

"I do more Hanouf wallah I do more," I cried, she joined.

"Haha we shouldn't be crying," She said releasing the hug.

"Eeeh 7adda, you have to clean your makeup," I giggled "I happen to not wear any makeup today."

"Waay ya7athch," Hanouf said.

"Kalba I miss you wayed wayed," I said "It has been three years, you grew up."

"Eeeh intay ba3ad," She said. we found ourselves falling in another hug.

Hanouf has been my friend for just a year before she traveled to UAE for her father's work as a diplomatic, but the bond between us was strong and still is. we used to have sleepovers like every day. When I'm not sleeping at her house she's sleeping at mine. She's so sweet and kind. 7ail 3ala neyat'ha.

"Waay akrehich laish ma glteele inch yaya ilKuwait?," I said faking a puppy frown.

"I was going to surprise you tonight bas you ruined everything." She said.

"Mita wi9altay w mita btrdeen emirates?," I asked looking at myself in the mirror to fix my hair, she was cleaning her face up from the panda eyes after crying.

"Ams ilail yaina w ma ra7 nrou7 abadan," She said

"Waaay wanassa," I screamed and have her a hug for the third time, but this time with no tears

"7adda wanassa bas osh 9outch 3aley fashalteena," she chuckled.

"hahah nasya nafse wallah I'm so excited," I said "Yaya weya omch w oboch?"

"La weya my cousins," she gave me a disgusted face "wai3 ga3deen ygolounle laish mo kashkha mithelhom al7amdillah wilshiker,"

"hahaay mo mn 9jhom a9lan ohma hailag w 7adhom showoff," I said.

"Eeeh 7adda," she said "9j intay yaya weya mnp?"

"My family il3azeeza," I said sarcastically.

"Allaah mishtagatlhom khansalim," she said

"yallah," I replied. We walked to our table. My mother and Rawa got surprised when they saw her and Mus3ab didn’t recognize her, they all greeted her.

"Khalte mashallah 7low 3alaich sha3ar boy," she cheered my mother up.

"Mashkoura 7abeebte killch thouq," My mother forced a smile. She had no choice of cutting it, she had to cut it, It wasn't in between her hands.

"Rawa sayvay raqme 3ndch tawne makhthatle kha6 Kuwaiti," Hanouf said.

"Mo yayba mobile naseeta intay ikhthay raqme." I said. She pulled a galaxy mobile from her purse and I gave her my number.

"Yallah 3ayal ana 6awalt 3ala my cousins lazm arou7," she excused us and left. My mother commented a few comments of how well her mother raised her.

Our waitress came and served the food. We ate our lunch with no chattering, I was eating so fast as usual, I ate over five pizza slices, I was hungry as hell.

When we all finished eating mom paid the check and we went back to the house immediately.  Everybody went to his room, I went to mine.

I switched to my pajama; I decided not to go out tonight.

I opened my laptop to catch up with The Vampire Diaries episodes I missed, after three hours of laying on the bed watching the serried I finished it, It was nine o'clock in the night and I wasn't sleepy even though I didn't sleep well last night.

So I opened a browser and typed tumblr. I spent an hour reblogging pictures. Then my eyes caught a picture. A picture of a black semi big book with "Dear Diary" text written on its cover in silver color.

That’s what I'm going to do. I'll start writing a diary. Maybe it will lessen the pain I'm having. I've always loved to express my feeling using a pen and a paper; it was the best therapy for me so I guess I have to start the diary.

I remember once I bought a book, a huge book because I wanted to make it a scrapbook but I didn't use it.

I spent half an hour searching for it in my room and I at the end founf it under my bed, it looked exactly like the book I saw in the picture.

My sister is an artist, she loves painting. I went to her room and asked her to give me a silver big pointed pen; she gave me a golden one instead. It will look even better with the black cover.

I walked back to my room in the other corridor to avoid Faris, He's sleeping over tonight and I told him that I'm sleeping early.  I'm not ready to talk to him yet.

My magical fingers started doing its work, I wrote "Dear Terrible Diary" in a good handwriting in the middle of the cover and designed the cover with good looking patterns.

I started to write my diary or I can say my "journal". I wrote everything from the incident day to today, I'm not afraid of writing my name in it since it wont be taken anywhere out of my room, under my bed in exact.

At the end of the day and end of the writing, I was amazed of how good I am at writing a diary.

I went to bed at 1:00 AM. My phone vibrated when I was just about to sleep, an unknown number was calling. Curiosity made me answer the call.

"Alo," I said.

"Hello Rawa ana Hanouf," She said,

"Hala Hanouf laish dagga 7al 7azza," I yawned.

"hahaha sorry,gawamtch?" she asked worriedly.

"La bas knt shwayya w anam." I said

"Knt bagoulch khal n6la3 bacher 3al ghada weya ilbanat kilhom 7adde mshtaga 7ag yam3atna," She spoke excitedly.

"Eeeh okay khala9 y9eer khair inshallah bacher akalimhom, goodnight," I yawned again.

"A77 ta9reefa, goodnight," she hung the phone up and I instantly fell asleep.