"I've always wondered if I had supernatural power or didn’t . Was it because "I'm just a kid and I have a wide imagination," as my grandma kept telling me, or was it mother earth sending me those feelings."
I read this sentence in my old diary over and over again, the diary where I used to write every single thing that happened to me , seven years earlier when I was just eight . I read this sentence over and over with fears and tears falling from my eyes. I can't stand being myself. I can't stand being Rawa, a fifteen year old brunette girl who has troubles with blinking . yes, I over-blink. There's something wrong with my eyes' nervous system that makes me blink a lot , which took my self-confidence away. Whenever I get nervous , I blink even more and that made everyone in my school laugh at me .
I closed my diary, put it under the pile of clothes that lied on the floor and wiped the tears off my cheeks as soon as my mother knocked on my door. I screamed letting her in.
She let herself in , eyes gazed and fixed on the pile of clothes that I was sitting right next to and then to my bed. Shock .
"laish mo mnathfa ghorftch?ana shgaylatlch?,"Mama Mariam said
"I told you I'm not used on cleaning my room and I told you that I'm not going to tidy it up," I replied
"Ta7achay 3arabe i7na ga3deen bl Kuwait, mita ma radaina wales tikalimay English laiman tlou3 chabdch,"
"Inshallah yemma bas mara7 aratbha al7een mita ma 9arle khlg," I replied
"W mita inshallah be9eer lch khlg?," She replied
" Yemma shway shway 3alay mo ana sibab il bankruptcy ili 9ar lina , remember?" I said
Mama Mariam tried to hide her tears by getting herself out of my room . I felt how sad my mother was when I started talking about the bankruptcy . I'm now sure my mother still loves her ex-husband "My father" even though he betrayed us .
Let me tell you something about my mother; she's a white tall woman , I guess I took my height from her. her hair is black and short. she has got two cheek dimples that I've always wanted to have . She has never cared about us . me , my big sister and my little brother . seeing her in the house sometimes is a miracle because she's always busy in courts , from one to another. And when she doesn’t have any case to take care of , she runs to her companies to check on them. But now that my father signed all of the companies to his name , she comes home early as soon as she finishes with the "law" thing.
Yes my father betrayed us, took almost all of the money , got divorced with my mom and threw us to the curb.
Enough talking about my family and let's go back to that day . After my mother left my room , I didn't want to think about anything , I wanted to turn my brain off so I got my favorite band's CD in my stereo , volume so high and ended up dancing like a crazy monster . dressed myself up with party dresses , wore some makeup and took a lot of photo shoots LIKE A BOSS.
I then got so tired . I stayed up all night without noticing so I couldn't help falling asleep on the couch.
I woke up next morning to the sound of my cousin Faris laughing out loud at how pathetic I looked. I grabbed my iPhone , checked the time and got really mad screaming and shouting "For god's sake Faris It's eight AM why are you here?"*joined with curses* . he lowered himself right next to me by jumping on the couch and said "I woke up two hours ago couldn't go back to sleep and I've got nothing to do so I came in to your house"
I automatically smiled ,I tried not to, I tried to look angry.but for me? Spending time with Faris is way better than sleeping.
Faris is my closest friend and relative . His skin is tanned and his hair is long messy bright brown , I'm a bit taller than him. he has got a slim body . we've never cared about our appearances , I usually wear shorts and shirts in the summer and replace the short with a skinny jeans in winter .
I left Faris to go to the bathroom . washed my face ,brushed my teeth, wore my free city's purple sweatpants , put my crocs on and then got out of the bathroom.
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